Indecisive or “Undecisive”?

I often times didn’t make decisions when my ex was involved… I let her make a lot of decisions. In fact, she accused me of being indecisive. But it wasn’t true, and it need not ever be necessarily true of someone.

The reason I didn’t make many decisions was because I chose to refrain from making a decision that didn’t matter to me. Being unwilling to make an arbitrary decision isn’t the same as being indecisive. Choosing not to decided is a decision. Not deciding something (i.e. being “undecisive”) is not at all the same as not being able or being afraid to make a decision (i.e. indecisive).

When the other person cares in any amount what that decision will be… and I don’t… why make the decision? The best case scenario is the other person will be happy with your decision and the worst case scenario is they will be unhappy… all the while you remain indifferent to the decision itself. Except by being expected to decide, you are placed in the awkward position of either having to make the decision you think the other wants, or not caring what the other wants and making a decision anyway. And all the probability of it removed if you simply relinquish your obligation to decide.

Even though my vote-weight the same as yours, why should I cast a vote when the outcome is arbitrary to me? Doing so would be skewing the statistics of the apparent collective opinion.

I argued with my ex about this… the subtle differences between indecisiveness and “undecisiveness.” I can and will decide when the outcome matters to me… or when the situation dictates that a decision needs to be made in a hurry. At the very least I will cast a vote if need be. But until then… why not let those who care about the specific choice at hand make the decisions?

My ex harassed me about green bean vegetables she wanted to use for the dinner she was making for us that night. What the hell do I care which type of green beans you select for dinner tonight? You obviously care because you think there is a difference, you think there is a distinction that has relevance. You knew that there were at least two types – I didn’t. And until you just asked me, I thought all green beans were the same. So why ask me? I will be just as satisfied either way.

Then again, even if you know there is a difference doesn’t mean you have a preference between the two.

It’s not like I wont appreciate the dinner or find it absolutely delicious. And if I don’t like the decision you make for us, at least then I would have the experience by which to formulate an opinion next time. Then I will say something.

I get accused a lot in life of being indecisive. The truth is I am very opinionated about many things. But many things I’m also not picky about… many trivial decisions I am apathetic to.



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